Those “little” comments

Ms. {V} is a cute little lady that more times than not I see sleeping at the BOL building. She came up to me today while I was outside with the canveses to ask if I was one of the artists who was covering paintings a few days ago. I responded with yes ma’am. She went on to ask how we did the paintings. I told her about throwing paint with the forks and paint brushes to which she enthusiastically responded with, well I could be an artist then! I quickly responded you are an artist! She then continued on to say “I remember my first painting. I was in kindergarten and had painted a beautiful field with some beautiful flowers, I thought. I took it up to my teacher to show her and she responded with “hmmm” and turned her head. That was the end of my art career.”

It’s sad how impacted we all are as human beings by the statements that we hear so early on in life. Even the littlest comments wreck our brains later and are eventually turned in to more negative thoughts than the original comment was intended to be. Please think twice when making these “little” comments.

Houston

I want to start this post off saying thank you to my dad and stepmom. Thank you for working so hard and teaching me to have an amazing work ethic. I’m beyond thankful for this lesson. This is the first time since I turned 15 that I haven’t had a job and it’s completely by choice, I’m truly blessed to be able to travel the US and not stress over finances because I learned early how to save. This week here in Houston has been amazing. I’ve been blessed meeting some unique and truly wonderful individuals.

I was hit hard last night as we were painting outside the Bread of Life building. We had canvases laid out and were inviting the homeless to come participate in some “action painting”, imitating Jackson Pollock’s style of painting using forks and paint brushes. Some individuals just stopped in to throw a little paint on the community painting and others worked on their own pieces. I was sitting beside a young girl who asked for purple paint and as I was mixing the paint I was curious as to how old she was, I looked toward {L} and asked who then in turned asked {V} her age. When she responded with 22 my heart sank. I sat there thinking about where I was at the age of 22. I was in Nashville, taking a break from school, working for Pray With Africa. Earlier that night {L} was working on a painting to my right talking with a clean cut looking young man. Come to find out he was as well 22 and would be spending his second night at the Bread of Life.

Tuesday morning I attended the art class that takes place at the church. There was a group of about 12 people that participated this particular morning. As the class went on I was drawn to this young guy that sat at the opposite end of the room. {D} is 20 years old and an amazing cartoonist. At 20 I was deciding to take a break from school and wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do or be for that matter.

Wednesday night {D} shared with the group that his 14 year old little sister had run away from home. I cried Wednesday night thinking about this. Molly is 14 and I don’t know what I would do if she were to run away. The streets aren’t meant for anyone and for certain not a 14 year old girl. Pain was written on his face and my heart ached for him having a little sister whom I love dearly I can’t say I know how he feels but I can say that I feel deeply for him and his little sister.

I was blessed with talking to {D} more last night. He came to me asking if I went to school to learn art and what not. As I responded with no, I noticed a change in his tone and he seemed more interested in hearing my story. His facial expression showed surprise to find out that I actually hadn’t graduated at all and wasn’t in school at the moment. He wants a degree in film and animation and aspires to create cartoons that will appear on tv, I believe in him. He is taking an animation class at the moment.

In all the cities I’ve traveled and of all the homeless individuals I’ve been drawn to talk to and share life with I can say with confidence none were younger than 40. My heart is heavy after seeing so many young ones on the streets here in Houston. I hurt for them and for the situations they are in that have put them where they are today. I felt I needed to share about my encounters this week as I was unaware of the rising rate of teens living on the streets.

Tiptoe

Walking is a wonderful thing… Especially on the tips of your toes.

"The idealist walks on tiptoe, the materialist on his heels."

Memory

the sound of memory rings loud and clear.

if you listen on you might hear,

the story of my life played for you.

softly humming on silver strings

abundantly…

the dark and the light spilling forth

for never one is the same

i hope some of these parts never fade

like sunshine on the heart

of my chipped soul.

beautiful and sad the smile I hide,

the history of life

the pure cannot see or understand

but my hope and love shine ahead.

through my lens and down my pen

to the roots of a tree,

they will grow.

The Beginning of a Beautiful Journey

Walk With Me

I’ve been running for the past four years of my life. I’ve lived in 3 different states, 6 different cities and 20 different houses/apartments. The only thing that has seemed to stay steady is 1 out of the 15 jobs I’ve held. I’m tired of running. I know I’m missing so much out of life. My life seems to be a blur. You know those photographs that most people toss out because you can only make out 1/8 if that of the photo due to quick movements? That’s my life.

I run in every aspect of my life. My jobs are constantly changing because I get bored or need to be doing something different. I can’t seem to finish any of my photography projects that I’ve been starting lately because I get caught up in moving on to the next thing that comes to mind. I run in my relationships. I dive in head first and come out stumbling. My thoughts are overwhelming because I can’t focus on one thing at a time. For any of you that know me, you can attest to that. I hate sitting still because I’m antsy all the time to be doing something, anything… but being still…

So my goal… Not to be still but to learn to walk. One day I may be able to be still but for now I’m shooting for walking. So walk with me on this journey as I try to discover my soul and learn who I am without running.